EP23: Racial Reconciliation & Inner Peace: A Guide to Self-Transformation with Xavier Dagba

In this profound episode of the Frequency Shift Podcast, hosts Karis and Nick are joined by transformation coach Xavier Dagba for a deep dive into breaking generational cycles, embracing emotional awareness, and exploring racial reconciliation within ourselves. Xavier shares personal insights into healing, the role of self-compassion in transformation, and how our experiences shape our perceptions of others. This podcast took place back in 2019 yet still holds relevance in today's world.

Together, they shed light on the importance of emotional hygiene, spiritual courage, and creating inner unity to foster true change. This episode invites listeners on a journey toward self-discovery and holistic healing, combining the hosts' lived expertise in Human Design and life strategy with Xavier’s transformational perspective. Discover actionable tools to integrate healing practices into your life and relationships, and consider how inner work can shift your outer reality toward abundance, unity, and resilience.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Embrace Emotional Hygiene - Xavier discusses the significance of emotional awareness and how "cleaning up" our emotions can lead to clearer, more empowering interactions.
2. Recognize Inner Unity - Discover practical ways to reconcile diverse aspects of yourself, acknowledging all parts to foster a balanced and compassionate outlook.
3. Harness the Power of Reflection - Practical exercises and Xavier's guidance encourage listeners to lean into self-reflection, bridging the gap between awareness and personal growth.
   
   

Connect with Xavier:

Emotional alchemist | Shadow worker | Wordsmith
Lead, love & Serve from your heart, not your wounds.

• https://www.xavierdagba.com/
• Instagram

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Nick: @vonpitt
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Transcript

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welcome to your Frequency Shift podcast hosted by human design engine key specialist Karis and myself Nick a life strategist we are your experts in navigating how to bring deep satisfaction fulfillment and helping you connect the feeling of being alive in your business body and relationships on this podcast we dive into all things spirituality reparenting relationships business and personal growth hacks um I'm so excited that we get to have Xavier back um and yeah we haven't planned anything for this episode so we're just going to see what message comes through um so yes I just wanted to ask how are you Nick I'm doing great I just did the dishes now so I'm I'm feeling good you love doing dishes I know you and and Xavier just had his his little beautiful beautiful baby and we seen the pictures on Instagram and we are just so overjoyed and you look so overjoyed you don't look tired at all how are you doing I am doing great honestly it's an honor to be here and to have this conversation how I'm doing and the answer to that is um in multiple ways I can say sometimes exhausted and at the same time there's a part of me that is just like so passionate to keep doing new work to keep growing up so sometimes I'm gonna be doing stuff for the baby in my hand and it's like okay I need to be able to hold space for everything be here for them and at the same time be here for my heart um and I take breaks when I need to and it's just this really interesting space where I get to be all of this at the same time and this has been amazing for me too just lean into it wasn't a habit it didn't come natural to me though I am learning to be there for myself be there for the family and be there for the purpose because there's a part of me that knows it must all be possible you know like it's a world of end of inclusion so I'm learning to lean into that it just is it just yeah hmm yeah I am I love that one thing that's been really important for me to incorporate into this life that I'm trying to build or that I am building is just that abundance on all levels we grew up with this idea that if you work hard then your family suffers cause they don't see you because of the amount of time that you put in or if you are with your family then you don't get as much money because you're not putting time into X area and what has been important for me to install in myself and just let go of all the limiting beliefs saying that it's not possible because it is even if it takes longer you have to figure out systems and things that work for you but you can have that on all levels and nobody needs to suffer you know so yeah I mean if you think about it why must you suffer to be abandoned you see it's kind of very contradictory to and it is very and if there is always a part of a a a of you that is cutting the flow somewhere if you assume it needs to be this or that you know you cutting that abundance somewhere you know because abundance is really like that flow of energy that is willing to be activated in all areas and the question that I asked myself lately all the time how much am I willing to receive how much am I willing to receive and every time I do that feels like an openness within and this is what I'm trying to lean into I love that yeah so to the point this week was really something we both had to dig in with prosperity and abundance and what our not even our mindset but like the beliefs and the generational pattern all of those things and you can go on for years and years putting yourself under this microscope examining what is it that brought you here is it your family is it your um what choices what limiting beliefs you have all of those things you can put yourself under that microscope or what the image that came to me when I was in the meditation and saying my little prosperity prayer was um that there's this river of abundance essentially and our minds have limited this energy this abundance energy to be such a um we've limited it and there's no limit to this water so when you stand in there it doesn't matter what limiting beliefs you have or what level these things are if you're standing in that river and that flow of abundance is like those things aren't gonna hold up you know you just become abandoned eventually um and not eventually but I mean it's a natural state yeah when you step into that space all of those other things sort of fall away and they get washed away by these peeling waters essentially so I hope that makes sense it does to me yeah I hope this makes sense to anyone listening it does to me and I love that Alrighty um when we when we we we we open this uh conversation with the intention of talking about uh racism or racial unity and everything that's going on right now globally and when I started focusing on that myself the thought that came up was and true anti racism work it's really it's really healing in my opinion it's really I wanna say emotional healing spiritual healing it is truly remembering who we are because we have been by into the illusion of step of separation you know and that illusion has been amplified by bringing a programming the color of our skins and a lot of people are trying to look at the anti racism war Trudeau length of you know I don't see color and I get where that comes from from the perspective of wanting unity but I feel like collectively we are invited to this space where we accept our humanity fully and at the same time our divinity fully at the same you know and wanting to only live in that divinity perspective and bypassing all of the humanity perspective here in my experience it doesn't really work well but being able to hold both truths in my opinion this is where the true power that we invited to grab is and when I think about it I'm thinking about 2020 which means in my opinion clear vision perfect vision like holding space for everything and seeing everything that we have been putting on the backseat for the longest time because it was uncomfortable and I feel like the energy of this year is just so appropriate or everything that we are going through at the moment so there is a part of me that is rejoicing because of what is happening and there is a part of me that also takes that more human human human part of me I don't understand that God this work is hard you know but we get to lean into it yeah so yeah that's what I fully agree with what you're saying um and your perspective it's it's so enlightening and I I love the metaphor of the the 2020 vision that is just beautiful and this is honestly a collective opportunity to shed light on the things that we've been sweeping under the rug we have been stepping into that spiritual bypassing space as you've noticed people have rarely started to segregate now with the the spirituality movement with the sexual movements and the generals and all these different aspects and obviously the racial movement has been there for how long but now it's just at a point where okay we need to start bridging the gaps and how are we gonna do that yeah and you clearly have the answer for that at this moment in time because you are just saying hey I'm gonna just trigger you if you like it or not so it is very interesting because something that really happens when you start bringing the light in the room that was always dark hmm you start seeing the dust you start seeing everything that was hiding in the dark hmm and this is what we are seeing within ourselves and also on the outside like we are seeing all those stuff emerging about you know child trafficking racism and all those on and on like even more sensitive subjects if we even allow ourselves to look at things like vaccines and stuff like that right so we are seeing things that were just always going on and that we couldn't see because there were there was just like the consciousness wasn't at a level where we were ready to look at our own shadows but now just that veil that was there absolutely and then in turn the perspective wasn't there as well so you wouldn't be able to take it in absolutely so now we add in this space where we get to see it move to the next step to move to the next level and this is really really beautiful in my experience and it's also very hard because it takes to really work with the parts of yourself that sometimes it was never appropriate you know to show those parts publicly or to even acknowledge that we have then within our soul like for a lot of people um that I come across with I always tell them we are all racist learning to love one another even more and this is something that triggers them they are like no I don't identify as a racist I don't I don't I don't and every time we do a little bit of digging you can always find at on some level some judgment that comes up just because of the color of the skin you know so this is the reason why I always bring that up I like I can recognize in my humanity aspect that I am a racist learning to love people even more hmm and when you come from that perspective whatever got stirred up within you you get to look at it then you get to look at it so in this work my invitation like the work needs to be done at many level the first is the education the information and the awareness that is like the first step when it comes to anti racism war education information awareness like being willing to see and to validate what has been happening for the longest time for me that's the first step being willing to see and validate oh right this is what has been happening this is what this is how this person has been feeling you know both sides this is how people of color black people have been feeling for the longer time but I wasn't aware of that this is how white people have been experiencing the whole thing this is why you know some of them felt so unsafe addressing all of this so it takes some sort of like not only information awareness but also emotional awareness of what the other person was going through what you yourself has been going through and also awareness of the conditioning that you've been opposed to without knowing so it takes a full awareness and in my opinion there is a really powerful healing attribute of consciousness you know just like being willing the same way when you become aware of water just your your only presence your only conscious focus at the water can change it chemically the same way you get aware of a problem that divine consciousness that we've been granted with has the capacity to allow a shift to happen so it takes courage right now spiritual courage to be able to to be willing to see what has been going on you know oh this is what was really going on this is how this person has been feeling this is how I've been feeling myself this is how I've been programmed and then there is a next step that need which is really diving and doing the clean up basically so the uncomfortable part yeah and that one I would say I would argue is the most difficult part yeah I am I should have post I think a week ago a week and a half ago about how these behaviors start at home and your kids it's not do as I say it's do as I do they listen to how you speak to your partner they listen to how you speak to people that work for you they listen to how you speak to people of colour and when you speak to someone of colour differently than you speak to anyone else they pick up on that as well and they start doing that and it's really it's Learned behaviour if you wanna start changing things as well you also need to take radical responsibility for how you also contributed towards that and that's where the importance of you like you said the awareness but then also the willingness to go in deep and do the work and then also make the change from here on out but um if you have decided to do this work and you have the awareness um Xavier and I were chatting before we got into the call um there was a gentleman that messaged me to say he has um he he's aware of his racial um how discriminating he is um but he sort of went this is how I grew up but I wanna change it if you're there in that place congratulations that's the first step but the next step is the most important and the most difficult so like Sofia said it takes courage it takes bravery this next level of where you want to build your life um it really takes courage and bravery so if you would like to um go ahead and find out what the next step is for you um I'll just um like it is so like there is so much information out there like information of all kinds and the good thing about the abundance of information is we react to the hmm we react to that information and it is very important right now to be aware of um because it is sometimes for the mind it is hard to just go in the past and pick up that moment in time where your mom or one teacher or something someone said something to you about another race that you picked up and that you assimilated but emotions are very powerful to bring to consciousness thing and how do you become aware of that is why you do your own education about racism why you do your own search why you become aware pay attention to what triggers you and I'm not necessarily talking about seeing somebody being murdered because sometimes we get triggered at the human level seeing another human being murdered is a natural human reaction to get you know um I wanna say to to be emotionally moved by that because we are human but you know another comment that might be seen as either racist or a comment that makes you defend yourself especially when you hear somebody from another skin color as your you know like really pay attention to what makes you wanna defend yourself what makes you wanna dive into righteousness yeah what makes you uh want to argue what makes you feel rage or anger you know it's really important to pay attention to all of those because those triggers are really gold and my intention is to separate at that moment the messenger you know the person the post that triggered you from the message and the message is not what was that in there the message is just the feeling that you experience that is the message the message is you actually allowing yourself to receive because there was there was a part of you that was poked by what you just read and that part of you is claiming just wholeness with your reconciliation with you and it is being poked because you are ready so when you allow yourself to really dive into the feeling without trying to change it whatsoever just experiencing your own emotion fully you know it has if you are in a state of emotional observer like this is how I feel and you take it in fully and then what you can do is to validate the feeling because we have so many judgments about what we think or believe or feel about racial issues no if I allow myself to validate it I'm gonna be considered a racist but if you are if you invalidate the way you are feeling at that time the part of you that wanted to become whole you are at that time again making a part of you wrong you are not willing to be unconditional with the whole of you right so you are making the part of you that assimilated the belief back then when you were younger with your family you know you are making that part of you wrong and if you are willing to validate how you feel regardless of how good or bad society says it is you are calling that part of you forward it's like your body your emotional body is like okay it feels like it is safe for me to show you this part of of you right now and then it might come back as a memory it might come back has a sensation you might start to remember something and allow yourself really to be in the memory at the time to really experience again what happens and I've done this work with many people I've seen um a client remembering how she was driving a car she was with her grandfather and her grandfather thought it was their previous neighborhood the grandfather said I am really glad we moved from this neighborhood because it became a black neighborhood and she remembered being sitting in the backseat of the car back then and she was hurt but she didn't say anything she didn't want to offend her grandfather so doing that work of feeding feeling the trigger feeling the emotion associated with it and also validating the emotion not saying I am bad if I feel this way I am wrong if I feel this way it allows the your body to basically deliver the seed and you can ask yourself where did I begin to feel this feeling for the first time and if you've really been at a place where you are fully and open to do this work your emotional body your innate intelligence will deliver because this is the job of your emotional body it wants to feel home healing is the natural order of business but healing is interrupted when we have made it unsafe so when you create that safety it is okay for me to feel this way I am willing to be fully present with this feeling where did I begin to feel it the first time it shows up and when it shows up you are you wanna experience it fully again you wanna validate the reaction that you had at that time meaning a five year old boy in a family where the parents said you it is safe for you to treat those people this way and that 5 year old boy assimilating that because the mom said it is safe for me you know to be careful when I'm with this group you cannot make that shit wrong right because he was just willing to abide and to belong with his mom and right now in that experience you need to be with him with the kid and validate the kid again and when you are once you are able to do that you feel like a slow integration happening in that slow integration it has a part of yourself that was casted out because at some point in time you realize owning this part of myself would make me look racist so I'm disowning this part you start receiving that out of you and integration start happening and at that moment because you became aware of this you get to make a new agreement with that kid within you right now it's safe for you to accept people the way they are you know and you can create that healing coming whole circle every time you get triggered that way so it's really important to do the education part the knowing the seeing what is happening but it's also important to do the work of life receiving a trigger and really diving deeper emptying that shadow so that you can see oh this is what was happening in there a part of me got frozen in time stuck in the belief that oh okay black people might be hurtful for me or white people are sneaky or they might want it like whatever belief you really agreed to in the past so this is a simple process was simple but still very uncomfortable that get people to claim their whole name and I I just saw a comment on what you said then I I I found that so interesting the fact that you've you've taken the education aspect that's been one side of it and the other side is obviously the internal work and I think right now so many people get so triggered and they get stuck in the educational and the historical aspect but then forget to jump into the inner work and yeah there's that disconnect and they they feed each other because one creates awareness the other one also creates awareness and they integrate as you begin to integrate from all aspects yeah I think that's so important yep people are so stuck on maybe one aspect of this and forgetting the other I think that there's generally just a lot of anger that's come up for everyone um way it is that it's very there's a lot of polarity in the fact that I mean in people's head there's two sides and the one side doesn't feel hard and the other side feels self righteous and shame because they don't feel hard um with that this is why I love what you were saying about it's embodiment work essentially which is embodying what you're feeling and fully going through that motion I always believe that um emotions like anger and frustration and when you feel that disturbance of peace in your body you as a human being would design to release those emotions and to fully feel them um you can't release them unless you fully feel them and see where this is coming from so that you can integrate with that part of yourself so with all of the work that you was talking about I wanted to ask you about the emotional hygiene because like I said a lot of people have been feeling very angry very unheard I think that there's a lot of pain as well for women of colour as well cause then I mean when you dissect all of these levels there's at the most part there's a lot of pain and anger so when you go to the topic of emotional hygiene that is yeah I wanted to hear what your definition of it was but for me I think it's really important to differentiate what you are feeling in terms of is this the collective feeling affecting me is this um or is this my own because normally that collective feelings will trigger up all of the past traumas that you've gone through and then you're in that space where it's perpetuating itself everything is feeding everything so how do you yeah that how do you come back and then also how do you become yeah had that emotional hygiene essentially yeah and I want to say especially for very sensitive people they're gonna be very very um influenced yeah by the collective climate let's call it this way so you know we pick up emotions we keep we pick up you know vibration and we tend to um kind of merge it with the same way we are feeling the first thing that I wanna bring up is one thing that feels true to me is you will only fully feel you will you you will sense the the collective like in terms of what is the collective vibration is but it will only vary and settle you at the level where it is pulling out of you a part of yourself that also hasn't been fully integrated because in that the the when we look at things from the perspective of this world of mirror and we get so able to stand what is going on collectively I often come across different kind of empath you gonna find a lot of them that have done like extremely deep shadow work so they will tell you what descends but they can they can tell you that with like a certain amount of sovereignty and others will also tell you what descends which is very accurate and they might lose themselves in their emotions because a lot of what descends evolve to bringing forth within them some parts of themselves that still need a little bit of integration so every time I come across one I'm like um what is being triggered within you by just collective what is being triggered within you by the collective and when you collect those pieces of yourself you are able to have a deeper awareness this belongs to me this doesn't belong to me anymore because your slate is kind of clean internally and you get that sensation of being it all is always like being triggered you get that sensation where it's like from the outside in not from the inside out hmm yeah I don't know if it kind of makes if it kind of make them and whenever it is strongly from the outside being and it feels painful there is something within you that is asking for like um reconciliation again and the emotional hygiene for me is basically you know to do the screening of what you feeling like it is very important to not put things under the rug emotionally or what like thing I can just get over it it is possible to get over it it is possible to go back to that space of consciousness maintenance where you wrap yourself you have bubble wrap again around you so that you don't have shots you know and usually we do that by trying to suppress absolutely everything that can trigger us in any way but you know those triggers they always find a way to us somehow especially when we are in relationships especially when we are in families it's as if those guys were just born to trigger you or your partner has just put on on your way so that they can trigger you but it always happen and my my perspective is just to empty the feeling cup all the time especially about those tiny things to empty the feeling cup to really just be present with what you're feeling and unconditional and there is that thing that I always have in mind do not let anything unset or anything you know unprocessed because they tend to accumulate they tend to accumulate and that is a huge part of emotional hygiene because it also gives you clarity when something bigger comes out you are able to process oh what is really going on in here is it my stuff or is it just a vibe that I picked up and for empath it is so important to have that emotional IG which means processing your own things when you get triggered and really coming back to that space within yourself and you can ask your emotional body it is crazy how your innate is willing to to cooperate with you when you ask is it coming from me or is it something that I picked up you will be able to have some sort of like innate answer you know and this is how I navigate it like what is going on here and this is me asking the question for myself what is going on here when I think into this feeling and when you allow yourself to sink into the feeling if it didn't come from you yeah you are able to release it in a quick second you know like in a quick second and you're gonna realize oh it was probably something that I picked up to around me but when it belongs to you oh you in for a nice fight you are into you know but it's like we said before we started this conversation which is people are always looking for relief and answers and um to grow from things but what you don't realize is that their growth and the answers always lie in the triggers and they lie in that discomfort and they lie in that space but yeah Nick hates it but I can't go to bed if there's something that I feel isn't settled

and I don't care if it is 11:00 or 1: 33:02

00 and he's dead asleep I will wake him up so we can talk about it at just like just so we can I understand Nicola I can't man I can't do that look if I'm upset like I get it out then and there like I don't hold it in like it's there I look at it I'm like okay I'm gonna verbalize it and then I'll be like I am triggered I know I am triggered I'll recognise it I'll work through it but I'll just be very open and plain she she used to be terrible at this she's just sit on it for like three four days can I just say and it used to like cook I used to bake it and then I didn't then I asked those questions why why are you so quiet and you know you start tiptoeing and there's this eerie feeling that was can we just say that was before I did the work now that I understand that I don't leave it for that long there's I think when you're an empath there's also a responsibility for you to have the wisdom to go inwards for a little bit take some space and differentiate from like what is mine and what is someone else's like you said and I don't like reacting immediately when I feel anger I know that there's more space that's needed from myself and that other person but um yeah I wanted to say to you you shared a post about how we have volunteered as human beings to volunteer to come as human beings at this time and um I really I love that but with um what you were saying about how you pick up things I think as you start changing and you start moving into a space that's yeah like a higher vibrational space you also start becoming brighter and louder and there are things on this planetary system and energetic system that need to be transmuted so they sort of see you as a space and then they sort of all come to you so it's not a bad thing that you're feeling all of these things it means that you are moving in the right direction so if you are congratulations but good luck so absolutely yeah and if the invitation is to just become a bigger space holder yeah you know it is just to become an even bigger space holder and you cannot discount yourself from that space you need to belong to that space that you willing to hold birth and this is really what navigating this time mean to me and the reality of things is what is available beyond at the bottom because we have that linear perspective of like low vibration high vibration and sometimes the shadows you know in that perspective of low vibration and people are especially spiritual people they just wanna be high all the time and I get it what's what really happens when you go up at the bottom of it you know it is as if you were diving into a pond and down below is just like another world of possibility in that open you know and you just recognize that your consciousness is in this bubble like that humanity consciousness is in this bubble but everything outside of the human consciousness is pure light this is how I see it so have you allow yourself to just dive in there what is available on the other side is still light you know yeah it's like nothing else I don't I don't it feels like you wanted to say something no I was just gonna say like I think of you know how babies are born inside the womb it's completely dark when you plant a seed in this fertile soil the soil is completely dark for you to actually grow you fussy have to be and like in that space and I think that sometimes when you are on the spiritual journey and like you said everyone wants to be high five and love and light and all those things true growth and like the amount of growth that happens in those faces yeah just it's a thing of not running away having the courage having the bravery to face your shadows and to face that darkness cause we have this idea that darkness is bad that our shadows are bad yeah but that is when you're looking at it from the view of polarity and not looking at it from what your soul is trying to communicate to you um one thing that's been made clear to me is that all of these ways that we abandon ourselves and when we start going into manipulation or if you go feminine masculine if you go black or white if you go all of these like very um there's a lot of polarity in those spaces when you go there you almost have to abandon the conscious part of you that's trying to say whoa whoa whoa okay let's just take a step back and with that abandonment you also this if you look at the physical abandonment you physically have to abandon your breath as you go into that space so when you have the awareness this is why it is so important to come back to your breath if you're looking at some sort of anchor to bring you back into your body so that you can have a second for your mind body and heart center to start circulating the information that it's trying to bring up for you not um to hurt you but to bring you bring awareness and to help you pay attention it's just so important to pay attention to your breath cause it helps you slow down in a second and then you can connect and then you can listen and then everything comes through so it's the simple the simple practice that is available to all of us and it's freely available you don't have to pay anyone to do it just breathe and I really love that because the breath is also has you slow down that breath you are signaling your body that you are fake and when you begin to work with triggers your body needs to know and trust that in this moment you are safe because we usually put things in our shadow when it wasn't safe to have them publicly outside it was never and that's the reason why we put them in our shadow and being at a space where you allow yourself to create that sense of safety with your breath you know it's really really really powerful because it signals your body that okay this guy or this girl right now means it he or she wants to do the work right now so we are gonna bring it to the surface yeah you know so that aspect is creating safety in this work is extremely important extremely important Nick and I were talking two days ago about how in this work you can't force anything it's the same thing with like birth work if you force a baby yeah to be born it is very traumatic not only on the baby but the mother and like everyone else involved your body doesn't like to be forced your heart doesn't like to be forced and your soul doesn't like to be forced to sort of integrate cause everyone's like oh ego death all of this stuff but if you force anything to happen nothing is going to happen you need to feel safe things need to it needs to feel like an invitation but firstly there needs to be a trust and a safety and you need to feel held and you need to feel supported by yourself in the energy that you put yourself in so yeah is there anything that you wanted to I'm saying it because you've been quiet I'm just listening to be honest it's you know when when you really don't have something to say rather not say it and I don't mean it in a bad way like I'm really just listening and I'm allowing the conversation to flow um um but Ja my what I just wanted to touch on quickly was just how how interconnected all these different aspects are because so many like when Karis was talking about the stuff starts in the home basically you're having to dig back into your inner child you gonna have to start with healing in that aspect and one of those aspects is gonna be the the racial reconciliation and the fact that you are brought that to light because I don't know of anyone that has ever mentioned that I've never read a post I've never read a book on the the racial reconciliation of the inner child yeah so this is really this is cutting okay good to be honest this is this is you just taking taking the rains and saying this is what we need to shine the light on and yeah I I I really am just honoured to have listened to the the words of wisdom that that has come out and funny enough this I think it was last week where I was sitting and really looking at you know the messenger of the emotion the person that is not triggering the emotion and how often your the self righteous aspect of ego wants to hit back and hit the messenger because now it's trying to protect you because you're not feeling safe where as if you allow yourself to shift perspective and not look at the messenger as you mentioned and just feel the emotion emphasis in feeling that emotion and giving yourself that space I just find this the synchronicities uncanny because I literally sat with that last week like really dug into that that little tippet on Golden Nugget and I was like wow I I haven't got this right all the time but I want you to understand the process that I need to go through it's so funny how you mention that and just how everything just started tying in so I didn't really have a lot to say because charisma I literally we have these conversations and then she's gonna say what I'm probably gonna say because she reads my mind and then I just like okay well now I didn't say it but I did say it but she said it's now sometimes when she says stuff we're not codependent there's a book um by Jen Sincerro called you a bad you are a badass and in there she talks about the analogy how just to simplify what you're saying about removing the person um let's say you have a boat that's parked and someone else has a boat and then they drive past and they um smash into your boat and scratch the side of it um initially you're angry at the person for driving the boat into your boat but when you remove the person and it's just the wind or it's just an accident or something that happens then how can you be angry it just is so when you remove the person it's just the thing that happens for you to pay attention but yeah honestly Xavier thank you so much this was incredible um yeah yeah I I really appreciate appreciated this conversation do you have any closing words the whole thing was I want to offer to people who listen to this and how they go through their own integration Prophet is to create some willingness you know to create a willingness to go beyond the just information awareness hmm and there is something that is really important to create right now it is compassion and the way I see compassion is to see the other one in the humanity meaning everything that they are experiencing feeling you know and understanding that in the shoes their experience is valid taking into consideration that the programming everything they are experiencing is valid right and this is the first step of compassion and the second step of compassion for me is really recognizing that divinity you know if you are compassionate towards somebody and understanding that taking into consideration everything that they went through the way they are responding right now is absolutely valid but at the same time you are denying to themselves the possibility to potentially change their experience it is not true compassion for me compassion is seeing the other person in the wholeness of who they are and if we are at the space where we are willing to see validate do our best to understand but also get that this is a divine being in the human body we create the bridge and in all those conversations it's gonna be very important to see other at the same time in the pain and to remind them of their power seeing them in the pain and seeing them in the full power is very necessary right now now the other thing is just like we said the willingness to really go within there is nothing that changes that there is nothing that replaces that the willingness to go within and it's really necessary for all of us to be at the place where we clean up our own emotional slate so much that the most racist person in your presence would not even be able to word racism to you because it's not allowed in your space and you can only do that as you do the inner work because if a racist person comes towards you and you still have some emotional residue within that person has something to reflect upon yeah you know and what happens if enough people do this work of cleaning up emotionally and I even have a big visualization that I offer give to people I'm gonna give it here or people who wanna do that work I'm just gonna go word the process allow yourself to think into your sorry no I said you don't have to shorten it like you can really go ahead and yeah the allow yourself to sink into your heart and just to slow down your breath just like curious mentioned slow down your breath and allow your awareness to shift in your body from your head to your heart and really visualize yourself walking into your heart and have you walk into your heart you gonna see a huge door and on that door there is the your picture as what you look like right now and there is race imagine that there is race written on that door and has you opened the door give yourself permission if you're ready to open the door and to walk into it and you're gonna see a big table where only one seat is highlighted and that seat is you has you are right now the color of your skin right now and all the other seats are in the dark but you can hear whispers and those are different aspects of yourself from all the different ethnicities in the planet at the moment but they are just muted they wanna come to the surface they wanna be seen but you have just over identified with the white version of yourself or the black version or in the or the indigenous whatever your race is at the moment and unity becomes available when you turn on the light switch and you see that all those other races sitting at the same table of the race room in your heart they are you with just different skin colors they are you and they just wanna be integrated with you right now and in that moment you have a beautiful opportunity to create some sort of group hug and to say to yourself it is safe for me to see and hear you and accept you right now just the way you are and in that moment allow yourself allow all the different versions of yourself to stand up and to come together just like a circle a group hug and they are touching each other and in that moment there is a sacred reunion that is happening it has if those individualation different races they are coming into one body call that new color purple if you wish but they are calling they are coming into one body and this is you creating full acceptance with the expressions of the human body on this planet and this is just the visualization that I wanna offer and how to create that reunion when you're ready you can stay there for as long as you want when you're ready you just come out slowly of the race room into your heart where right now there is light just like credible incredible beautiful light happening and you come out of there fully integrated you know this is another powerful visualization that I often do with people and when they allowing themselves to dive in there and to really have that integration happening within them it is gonna be very hard to just have a king based judgment ever again because every race that you are rejecting it is creating a new abandonment wounds you would be rejecting that part of you within the game that you have just created that reunion with you are you understand that the reflection that you see in a black person it is just you and often when you do that you are gonna some people literally have some remembrance of previous lifetime experiences where they wear a fully different body a fully different color and yeah anybody who wants to do this visualization I invite you to dive into it and see what happens that was so beautiful honestly I felt myself going through that as you were saying it and I felt very emotional towards the end but it was not it was just to feel that love that everyone is in we cause we all we all won and just to see it like that um in a way that your soul can understand um and the way that you thank you so much for sharing this because yeah it was really it was really beautiful for me thank you I'm still at a loss for words it's it's just it's you're welcome it's just you giving every aspect of yourself a seat at the table and giving those aspects recognition and yes integrate it's just it's it's so simply it's simply powerful it's beautiful thank you that thank you so much for that thank you you are welcome and yeah this is what I wanted to finish with an offer it has a you know practical thing that people can do internally so that it can be more accepting of others out there much love you like I always say to you thank you for the gift of being real I'm so grateful to be alive in a time with this he loves that we can communicate with like yourself and that we all have access to the space and um if anyone feels cool to do this work please just you can message any of us um we all have young kids nobody sleeps here so just yeah but um let's just get that one out there but honestly um I know this is not easy work to go through and if you really don't feel like you know where to start and you feel really pushed and guided to um open up the space for yourself then honestly you message any of us we are all here to help um and yeah so just thank you so much for honoring yourself as you honored us by listening to us as well um and I hope that yeah thanks again and to everyone listening I hope that you take uh an hour for yourself just to reflect on everything that's that the podcast has brought up within you but um yeah maybe give it a listen again and take some notes I'm going to I'm probably gonna do that haha thank you so much Sonia and much blessings it's a huge honor to be here with you thank you so much for having me and if you're really wanting to level up check out our private coaching where we combine cutting edge neuroscience practical strategies and supportive insights from human design life experience and your linguistic programming to help you unlock your full potential and create lasting change be it in your life your relationships or your business until next time you have the power to make the shift go do it